One of my favorite pictures!

I have a faint memory from when I was about 6 or 7 years old, I sat at the piano in the chapel of our church, in front a group of other children and parents.

They were there to listen to a piano recital. I had been taking lessons from Dr. Anderson. I know I drove him crazy because I would always play the music by ear, how I thought it should sound... not what the tempo or the notes necessarily told me to play. I was also bolder at that age and I think I rattled off a few smart-alec remarks now and again. I probably raised his blood pressure and after two or three years he fired me. That's right, I was fired.

So there I sit. At the the piano recital (before I was fired). Many on-lookers... waiting to hear this great music that I had practiced. I was so nervous though, that I could not play it. I was frozen with stage fright. Weather I got a few measures into it, or just made so many mistakes that you would think I hadn't practiced... I don't remember. But I do remember somebody coming up and sitting with me on the bench, helping me to finish what I could of the song. I also remember Dr. Anderson was not impressed!

When I practiced the piano growing up, my Grandpa would often listen from the other room while he worked in his workshop. Many times, he would stop and stand in the doorway of the family room. He always told me how good I did and how much he loved the music.... Grandpa's encouragement always meant a lot. It made me want to keep on playing, because I knew he was listening.

Over the years I took lessons from two other teachers. I loved playing when it was in the safety of the basement, or in front of a teacher. But, I always found a way to get out of a performance, or I flat out said I would not do it. I didn't want to re-live the piano recital of my youth.

I continued to successfully hide my talent... until the request came for a public performance, from someone other than a piano teacher. I was asked to play the piano every Sunday for the primary kids in my ward. I admit I gawked for a moment before warning that I didn't know the songs very well and I would do a horrible job. But I did it.

I loved it.

For a year I had the privilege of playing for the primary kids and it was great. They didn't notice much if I missed a note, and if they did, they never criticized me for it. They were simple songs, and the women I served with gave wonderful encouragement.
Over the course of that year, I slowly overcame some fright and realized that I really could play in front of people. I played for a ward Christmas program, for the ward choir once, and at the end of the year, I was able to play for the primary sacrament program with out having a nervous breakdown!

When I moved to Phoenix, I was asked again to play the piano, but this time I was asked to play in Relief Society. There are many more adults there. Many more women that I was sure could play piano better than me. Women that would notice my faults and maybe judge me for it.
I half-willingly took the calling... and prayed a lot. =) The first few months were rough. I would practice all week, only to get so nervous before I was to play that sometimes I would shake so uncontrollably that I couldn't push the sustain pedal properly. I know.... I'm painting a pathetic picture, but this is how it was. Though, again, everyone smiled and assured me that I was doing a fine job.

After two and a half years of apparently not doing to bad, I have learned so much more than I thought I could. I've just about learned how to control my nerves, and I have almost forgotten about the piano recital of my youth.

So why the recital flashback from my youth? Because last Sunday, I had the opportunity to play the opening and closing songs for a tri-ward fireside. For anyone that doesn't understand what that means.... to me, it means a whole lot of people. I felt excited and anxious, but most of all I finally realized that I do have a talent, that people want me to share... and, I can! I am so amazed at the blessings that I've been given while in my calling as the pianist. I have learned songs in a matter of weeks that I had worked at for years before. And, I am able now to play them flawlessly in front of a room full of singing people!!! =)


I found a picture of Grandpa that I took around 1993. It is my favorite and I keep it on my piano always. Now, with my hidden talents no longer hidden, I just wanted to share the picture that I love SO much. I know it is a little silly, and if Grandpa had a say in it right now, he may not let me put it up! But I remember him that night, laughing, smiling, joking. That is how I love to remember him. When I look at the picture on my piano, I think that Grandpa is probably still giving me encouragement from heaven. And I'm sure he is still listening!