Flaming Grapefruit

My day today had not gone so great in the first place, so of course, it had to end with me in the kitchen telling 3 firemen how to make broiled grapefruit.

How to make broiled grapefruit: cut fruit in half, place a bit of butter on each half, sprinkle with sugar and cinnamon, broil until bubbly. DO NOT LEAVE THE KITCHEN FOR EVEN 2 MIN.!!!

I had just put the fruit in the oven to broil. (I've done this with brown sugar before. This was the first time I had put white sugar on it though.) I had barely walked out of the room and the girls started yelling about smoke coming from the oven. I opened the oven door to see big flames! Ah crap.... fire. I don't do well with fire, in fact it is my biggest fear. I won't even light candles in my home because I am afraid a big fire will start. So you would think I would have a kitchen fire extinguisher on hand, you know, the one I've been meaning to buy for three years.

I closed the oven door and turned the oven off, remembering that the lack of oxygen is supposed to put it out. After a minute the fire had not gone out yet and smoke was starting to come out the top of the oven through a vent. I opened windows and doors and the fire alarms started going off. I sent the girls to stand outside the door since the apartment was filling with smoke; I started to kind of panic. I debated breaking the glass on the fire extinguisher outside, but heaven knows what the apartment manager would charge me for doing that. I knew that baking soda could put out a fire outside of the oven, but I didn't know if would help a larger one inside of it, or if opening the door wide enough to throw a small amount of baking soda on would make the fire larger. I quickly thought of my friend Karli... she is a pro at knowing what to do with kitchen fires. A few rings and an answering machine didn't help me though.

I peeked in the oven door again, only to see bigger flames. I realized at that point that calling friends and family to see who knew how to deal with a kitchen fire was probably going to waste my precious time. So I thought.... hey... if 911 dispatchers can talk a person through delivering a baby, they can talk me through putting this fire out. So between the choice of possibly feeling like an idiot calling 911 and watching the fire get larger and burn my kitchen down, I called 911. Immediately I told the dispatcher I had a kitchen fire in my oven that I was trying to contain. Instead of telling me to calm down and throw some baking soda on it or something (seriously what I had hoped for) She transfers me to the fire department.

I repeated to the fire dispatcher what I had said to the 911 operator. Of course, the first thing they say to me is, "what is your address"...... and I'm thinkin'..... dang, I don't want a fire truck out here, just tell me how to put it out! So I said something to them like " but.... it's just contained in the oven......" (even though my voice was filled with panic) and they said... "we need your address". I gave them my address and the phone call was done just like that with a firetruck on its way. I was relieved to have this happen on a night where rain was down pouring, so I don't think they had many other fires to deal with. But I felt like if someone could have just talked me through it, or reassured me I had done what I needed to, I would be okay.

A few more minutes went by and the big fire truck arrived; just in time for the oven fire to finally put itself out and the alarms to stop going off. I left the girls standing outside the door while I met the firetruck in my socks, standing in an inch of rain water and heavy winds. I had hoped to be able to say "I was finally able to get it out"..... and then they would say to me "great, good job, we can leave then" Well, of course that isn't how it happened. Three of the six firemen get out of the truck to come make sure I haven't done anything REALLY stupid. They were very nice to me, no lectures, no "why didn't you do this or that"- instead they told me I had done a good job in getting the fire out (ah how kind). In the meantime, I'm feeling kind of embarrassed, wishing that smoke was still streaming from the oven. The firemen checked out the oven, made sure everything was okay. And then one of them complimented me on how good my flame broiled grapefruit looked, despite the black peel. He asked how to make it and I sheepishly told the nice three fireman how to make broiled grapefruit. But I know he won't place it as close to the broiler as I did.